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Thursday, November 29, 2007
How to Reset the Password of Windows XP, if forgotten accidently? ---by ashesh deep
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Friday, November 23, 2007
Bad news for IT employees...
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6:32 AM
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Wednesday, November 14, 2007
India's SUPERCOMPUTER is really Superb...
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Hyde Act ----by ashesh deep
1) Full co-operation in civilian nuclear energy has been denied to India:
a) U.S. unwillingness to co-operate in the areas of spent-fuel reprocessing and uranium enrichment related to the full nuclear fuel cycle.
b) Denial of the nuclear fuel supply assurances and alternate supply arrangements mutually agreed upon earlier.
c) Limits co-operation in the GNEP programme. India will not be permitted to join as a technology developer but as a recipient state.
2) India asked to participate in the international effort on nuclear non-proliferation, with a policy congruent to that of United States.
The Hyde Act envisages (Section-109) India to jointly participate with the U.S. in a programme involving the U.S. National Nuclear Security Administration to further nuclear non-proliferation goals. This goes much beyond the IAEA norms and has been unilaterally introduced apparently without the knowledge of the Indian government. In addition, the U.S. President is required to annually report to the congress whether India is fully and actively participating in U.S. and international efforts to dissuade, isolate and if necessary sanction and contain Iran for its pursuit of indigenous efforts to develop nuclear capabilities. These stipulations in the Act and others pertaining to the Proliferation Security Initiative (PSI), the Wassenaar Arrangement, and the Australia Group etc. are totally outside the scope of the July 18th Agreement and they constitute intrusion into India's independent decision making and policy matters. India's adherence to MTCR is also unnecessarily brought in.
3) Impact on our Strategic Defence Programme
In responding to the concerns earlier expressed by us, the Prime Minister stated in the Rajya Sabha on August 17, 2006 that "we are fully conscious of the changing complexity of the international political system. Nuclear weapons are an integral part of our national security and will remain so, pending the elimination of all nuclear weapons and universal non-discriminatory nuclear disarmament. Our freedom of action with regard to our strategic programmes remains unrestricted. The nuclear agreement will not be allowed to be used as a backdoor method of introducing NPT type restrictions on India." And yet, this Act totally negates the above assurance of the PM.
In view of the uncertain strategic situation around the globe, we are of the view that India must not directly or indirectly concede our right to conduct future nuclear weapon tests, if these are found necessary to strengthen our minimum deterrence. In this regard, the Act makes it explicit that if India conducts such tests, the nuclear cooperation will be terminated and we will be required to return all equipment and materials we might have received under this deal. To avoid any abrupt stoppage of nuclear fuel for reactors which we may import, India and the U.S. had mutually agreed to certain alternative fuel supply options which this Act has totally eliminated out of consideration. Thus, any future nuclear test will automatically result in a heavy economic loss to the country because of the inability to continue the operation of all such imported reactors.
Furthermore, the PM had assured the nation that "India is willing to join any non-discriminatory, multilaterally negotiated and internationally verifiable Fissile Material Cut-off Treaty (FMCT), as and when it is concluded in the Conference on Disarmament." But, the Act requires the U.S. to "encourage India to identify and declare a date by which India would be willing to stop production of fissile material for nuclear weapons unilaterally or pursuant to a multilateral moratorium or treaty."
In his Rajya Sabha address, the PM had said, "Our commitment towards non-discriminatory global nuclear disarmament remains unwavering, in line with the Rajiv Gandhi Action Plan. There is no dilution on this count." Unfortunately, the Act is totally silent on the U.S. working with India to move towards universal nuclear disarmament, but it eloquently covers all aspects of non-proliferation controls of U.S. priority, into which they want to draw India into committing.
In summary, it is obvious that the Hyde Act still retains many of the objectionable clauses in the earlier House and Senate bills on which the Prime Minister had clearly put forth his objections and clarified the Indian position in both Houses of Parliament. Once this Act is signed into law, all further bilateral agreements with the U.S. will be required to be consistent with this law.
As such, the Government of India may convey these views formally to the U.S. Administration and they should be reflected in the 123 Agreement.
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Wednesday, November 7, 2007
"INDO-US Nuclear Deal and 123 Agreement" ---an exclusive explanatory article
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Saturday, November 3, 2007
Visvesvaraya Technological University
At present, 141 engineering colleges all over Karnataka are affiliated to VTU. The intake every year for engineering under this university inclusive of post-graduate courses is around 38,000. The university has 25 branches of Bachelor of Engineering and 54 branches of Masters in Technology courses. B. E. (Bio-Technology) was an under-graduate branch introduced in 2002-03 in 21 colleges. In addition, the university offers MBA and MCA courses. The university also offers M. Sc. (Engg.) through Research and Ph.D. programmes. Currently, the University has 249 registered candidates for M.Sc. (Engg.) by Research and Ph.D. in 80 Research Centres in 24 affiliated colleges.
The University has achieved the tremendous task of bringing various colleges affiliated earlier to different Universities, with different syllabi, different procedures and different traditions under one umbrella.
The university is also known for its record number of placement activities.Every year thousands of students are recuited by various companies through campus placement programs.
The first batch consisting of approximately 13,000 students of under-graduate (engineering and technology fields) students admitted in the academic year 1998-99 graduated from the portals of this University during the month of July 2002. Four batches of M. Tech., 3 batches of MBA and 2 batches of MCA students have so far graduated from the university. The total number of post-graduates who have completed their studies in this university is around 5000.
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Sunday, October 28, 2007
STOCK MARKET
The Definition
The term 'the stock market' is a concept for the mechanism that enables the trading of company stocks (collective shares), other securities, and derivatives. Bonds are still traditionally traded in an informal, over-the-counter market known as the bond market. Commodities are traded in commodities markets, and derivatives are traded in a variety of markets (but, like bonds, mostly 'over-the-counter').
The size of the worldwide 'bond market' is estimated at $45 trillion. The size of the 'stock market' is estimated at about $51 trillion. The world derivatives market has been estimated at about $480 trillion 'face' or nominal value, 30 times the size of the U.S. economy…and 12 times the size of the entire world economy.[1] The major U.S. Banks alone are said to account for well over $200 trillion. It must be noted though that the value of the derivatives market, because it is stated in terms of notional values, cannot be directly compared to a stock or a fixed income security, which traditionally refers to an actual value. (Many such relatively illiquid securities are valued as marked to model, rather than an actual market price.)
The stocks are listed and traded on stock exchanges which are entities (a corporation or mutual organization) specialized in the business of bringing buyers and sellers of stocks and securities together. The stock market in the United States includes the trading of all securities listed on the NYSE, the NASDAQ, the Amex, as well as on the many regional exchanges, the OTCBB, and Pink Sheets. European examples of stock exchanges include the Paris Bourse (now part of Euronext), the London Stock Exchange and the Deutsche Börse.
Trading
Participants in the stock market range from small individual stock investors to large hedge fund traders, who can be based anywhere. Their orders usually end up with a professional at a stock exchange, who executes the order.
Some exchanges are physical locations where transactions are carried out on a trading floor, by a method known as open outcry. This type of auction is used in stock exchanges and commodity exchanges where traders may enter "verbal" bids and offers simultaneously. The other type of exchange is a virtual kind, composed of a network of computers where trades are made electronically via traders at computer terminals.
Actual trades are based on an auction market paradigm where a potential buyer bids a specific price for a stock and a potential seller asks a specific price for the stock. (Buying or selling at market means you will accept any bid price or ask price for the stock.) When the bid and ask prices match, a sale takes place on a first come first served basis if there are multiple bidders or askers at a given price.
The purpose of a stock exchange is to facilitate the exchange of securities between buyers and sellers, thus providing a marketplace (virtual or real). The exchanges provide real-time trading information on the listed securities, facilitating price discovery.
The New York Stock Exchange is a physical exchange. This is also referred to as a "listed" exchange (because only stocks listed with the exchange may be traded). Orders enter by way of brokerage firms that are members of the exchange and flow down to floor brokers who go to a specific spot on the floor where the stock trades. At this location, known as the trading post, there is a specific person known as the specialist whose job is to match buy orders and sell orders. Prices are determined using an auction method known as "open outcry": the current bid price is the highest amount any buyer is willing to pay and the current ask price is the lowest price at which someone is willing to sell; if there is a spread, no trade takes place. For a trade to take place, there must be a matching bid and ask price. (If a spread exists, the specialist is supposed to use his own resources of money or stock to close the difference, after some time.) Once a trade has been made, the details are reported on the "tape" and sent back to the brokerage firm, who then notifies the investor who placed the order. Although there is a significant amount of direct human contact in this process, computers do play a huge role in the process, especially for so-called "program trading".
The Nasdaq is a virtual (listed) exchange, where all of the trading is done over a computer network. The process is similar to the above, in that the seller provides an asking price and the buyer provides a bidding price. However, buyers and sellers are electronically matched. One or more Nasdaq market makers will always provide a bid and ask price at which they will always purchase or sell 'their' stock.[2].
The Paris Bourse, now part of Euronext is an order-driven, electronic stock exchange. It was automated in the late 1980s. Before, it consisted of an open outcry exchange. Stockbrokers met in the trading floor or the Palais Brongniart. In 1986, the CATS trading system was introduced, and the order matching process was fully automated.
From time to time, active trading (especially in large blocks of securities) have moved away from the 'active' exchanges. Securities firms, led by UBS AG, Goldman Sachs Group Inc. and Credit Suisse Group, already steer 12 percent of U.S. security trades away from the exchanges to their internal systems. That share probably will increase to 18 percent by 2010 as more investment banks bypass the NYSE and Nasdaq and pair buyers and sellers of securities themselves, according to data compiled by Boston-based Aite Group LLC, a brokerage-industry consultant.
Now that computers have eliminated the need for trading floors like the Big Board's, the balance of power in equity markets is shifting. By bringing more orders in-house, where clients can move big blocks of stock anonymously, brokers pay the exchanges less in fees and capture a bigger share of the $11 billion a year that institutional investors pay in trading commissions.
Market Participants
Many years ago, worldwide, buyers and sellers were individual investors, such as wealthy businessmen, with long family histories (and emotional ties) to particular corporations. Over time, markets have become more "institutionalized"; buyers and sellers are largely institutions (e.g., pension funds, insurance companies, mutual funds, hedge funds, investor groups, and banks). The rise of the institutional investor has brought with it some improvements in market operations. Thus, the government was responsible for "fixed" (and exorbitant) fees being markedly reduced for the 'small' investor, but only after the large institutions had managed to break the brokers' solid front on fees (they then went to 'negotiated' fees, but only for large institutions).
However, corporate governance (at least in the West) has been very much adversely affected by the rise of (largely 'absentee') institutional 'own'.
History
Historian Fernand Braudel suggests that in Cairo in the 11th century Muslim and Jewish merchants had already set up every form of trade association and had knowledge of every method of credit and payment, disproving the belief that these were invented later by Italians. In 12th century France the courratiers de change were concerned with managing and regulating the debts of agricultural communities on behalf of the banks. Because these men also traded with debts, they could be called the first brokers. In late 13th century Bruges commodity traders gathered inside the house of a man called Van der Beurse, and in 1309 they became the "Brugse Beurse", institutionalizing what had been, until then, an informal meeting. The idea quickly spread around Flanders and neighboring counties and "Beurzen" soon opened in Ghent and Amsterdam.
In the middle of the 13th century Venetian bankers began to trade in government securities. In 1351 the Venetian government outlawed spreading rumors intended to lower the price of government funds. Bankers in Pisa, Verona, Genoa and Florence also began trading in government securities during the 14th century. This was only possible because these were independent city states not ruled by a duke but a council of influential citizens. The Dutch later started joint stock companies, which let shareholders invest in business ventures and get a share of their profits - or losses. In 1602, the Dutch East India Company issued the first shares on the Amsterdam Stock Exchange. It was the first company to issue stocks and bonds.
The Amsterdam Stock Exchange (or Amsterdam Beurs) is also said to have been the first stock exchange to introduce continuous trade in the early 17th century. The Dutch "pioneered short selling, option trading, debt-equity swaps, merchant banking, unit trusts and other speculative instruments, much as we know them" (Murray Sayle, "Japan Goes Dutch", London Review of Books XXIII.7, April 5, 2001). There are now stock markets in virtually every developed and most developing economies, with the world's biggest markets being in the United States, Canada, China (Hongkong), India, UK, Germany, France and Japan.
Investment Strategies
One of the many things people always want to know about the stock market is, "How do I make money investing?" There are many different approaches; two basic methods are classified as either fundamental analysis or technical analysis. Fundamental analysis refers to analyzing companies by their financial statements found in SEC Filings, business trends, general economic conditions, etc. Technical analysis studies price actions in markets through the use of charts and quantitative techniques to attempt to forecast price trends regardless of the company's financial prospects. One example of a technical strategy is the Trend following method, used by John W. Henry and Ed Seykota, which uses price patterns, utilizes strict money management and is also rooted in risk control and diversification.
Additionally, many choose to invest via the index method. In this method, one holds a weighted or unweighted portfolio consisting of the entire stock market or some segment of the stock market (such as the S&P 500 or Wilshire 5000). The principal aim of this strategy is to maximize diversification, minimize taxes from too frequent trading, and ride the general trend of the stock market (which, in the U.S., has averaged nearly 10%/year, compounded annually, since World War II).
Finally, one may trade based on inside information, which is known as insider trading.
The behavior of the stock market
From experience we know that investors may temporarily pull financial prices away from their long term trend level. Over-reactions may occur— so that excessive optimism (euphoria) may drive prices unduly high or excessive pessimism may drive prices unduly low. New theoretical and empirical arguments have been put forward against the notion that financial markets are efficient.
According to the efficient market hypothesis (EMH), only changes in fundamental factors, such as profits or dividends, ought to affect share prices. (But this largely theoretic academic viewpoint also predicts that little or no trading should take place— contrary to fact— since prices are already at or near equilibrium, having priced in all public knowledge.) But the efficient-market hypothesis is sorely tested by such events as the stock market crash in 1987, when the Dow Jones index plummeted 22.6 percent — the largest-ever one-day fall in the United States. This event demonstrated that share prices can fall dramatically even though, to this day, it is impossible to fix a definite cause: a thorough search failed to detect any specific or unexpected development that might account for the crash. It also seems to be the case more generally that many price movements are not occasioned by new information; a study of the fifty largest one-day share price movements in the United States in the post-war period confirms this.[2] Moreover, while the EMH predicts that all price movement (in the absence of change in fundamental information) is random (i.e., non-trending), many studies have shown a marked tendency for the stock market to trend over time periods of weeks or longer.
Various explanations for large price movements have been promulgated. For instance, some research has shown that changes in estimated risk, and the use of certain strategies, such as stop-loss limits and Value at Risk limits, theoretically could cause financial markets to overreact.
Other research has shown that psychological factors may result in exaggerated stock price movements. Psychological research has demonstrated that people are predisposed to 'seeing' patterns, and often will perceive a pattern in what is, in fact, just noise. (Something like seeing familiar shapes in clouds or ink blots.) In the present context this means that a succession of good news items about a company may lead investors to overreact positively (unjustifiably driving the price up). A period of good returns also boosts the investor's self-confidence, reducing his (psychological) risk threshold.[3]
Another phenomenon— also from psychology— that works against an objective assessment is group thinking. As social animals, it is not easy to stick to an opinion that differs markedly from that of a majority of the group. An example with which one may be familiar is the reluctance to enter a restaurant that is empty; people generally prefer to have their opinion validated by those of others in the group.
In one paper the authors draw an analogy with gambling.[4] In normal times the market behaves like a game of roulette; the probabilities are known and largely independent of the investment decisions of the different players. In times of market stress, however, the game becomes more like poker (herding behavior takes over). The players now must give heavy weight to the psychology of other investors and how they are likely to react psychologically.
The stock market, as any other business, is quite unforgiving of amateurs. Inexperienced investors rarely get the assistance and support they need. In the period running up to the recent Nasdaq crash, less than 1 per cent of the analyst's recommendations had been to sell (and even during the 2000 - 2002 crash, the average did not rise above 5%). The media amplified the general euphoria, with reports of rapidly rising share prices and the notion that large sums of money could be quickly earned in the so-called new economy stock market. (And later amplified the gloom which descended during the 2000 - 2002 crash, so that by summer of 2002, predictions of a DOW average below 5000 were quite common.)
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Saturday, June 23, 2007
Artificial intelligence
The term Artificial Intelligence (AI) was first used by John McCarthy who used it to mean "the science and engineering of making intelligent machines".[1] It can also refer to intelligence as exhibited by an artificial (man-made, non-natural, manufactured) entity. While AI is the generally accepted term, others, including both Computational Intelligence and Synthetic Intelligence, have been proposed as potentially being "more accurate."[2] The terms strong and weak AI can be used to narrow the definition for classifying such systems. AI is studied in overlapping fields of computer science, psychology, philosophy, neuroscience, and engineering, dealing with intelligent behavior, learning, and adaptation and usually developed using customized machines or computers.
Research in AI is concerned with producing machines to automate tasks requiring intelligent behavior. Examples include control, planning and scheduling, the ability to answer diagnostic and consumer questions, handwriting, natural language, speech, and facial recognition. As such, the study of AI has also become an engineering discipline, focused on providing solutions to real life problems, knowledge mining, software applications, strategy games like computer chess and other video games. One of the biggest difficulties with AI is that of comprehension. Many devices have been created that can do amazing things, but critics of AI claim that no actual comprehension by the AI machine has taken place.
Mechanisms
Generally speaking AI systems are built around automated inference engines. Based on certain conditions ("if") the system infers certain consequences ("then"). AI applications are generally divided into two types, in terms of consequences: classifiers ("if shiny then diamond") and controllers ("if shiny then pick up"). Controllers do however also classify conditions before inferring actions and therefore classification form a central part of most AI systems.
Classifiers make use of pattern recognition for condition matching. In many cases this does not imply absolute, but rather the closest match. Techniques to achieve this divides roughly into two schools of thought: Conventional AI and Computational intelligence (CI).
Conventional AI research focuses on attempts to mimic human intelligence through symbol manipulation and symbolically structured knowledge bases. This approach limits the situations to which conventional AI can be applied. Lotfi Zadeh stated that "we are also in possession of computational tools which are far more effective in the conception and design of intelligent systems that the predicate-logic-based methods, which form the core of traditional AI", techniques which have become known as soft computing. These often biologically inspired methods, stand in contrast to conventional AI and compensate for the shortcomings of symbolicism.[3] These two methodologies has also been labelled as neats vs. scruffies, with neats emphasizing the use of logic and formal representation of knowledge while scruffies take an application-oriented heuristic bottom-up approach
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fUnNy FaCtssss .......

* John Madden is an accomplished ballroom dancer. In 21 states, Wal-Mart is the single largest employer.
* Jim Gordon, drummer of Derek and the Dominos ("Layla"), killed his mother with a claw hammer, then went back to finish a set with the band.
*One of Hewlett Packard's first ideas was an automatic urinal flusher.
*Eric Clapton did not play the very famous first riff on the song "Layla". That was Duane Allman.
*Clapton comes in later. As you age, your eye color gets lighter.
*There are more cars in Southern California than there are cows in India.
*The two-foot long bird called a Kea that lives in New Zealand likes to eat the strips of rubber around car windows.
*The province of Alberta, Canada is completely free of rats. Illinois has the most personalized license plates of any state.
*If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
*There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.
*The international telephone dialing code for Antarctica is 672.
*The average chocolate bar has 8 insect legs in it.
*There are 206 bones in the adult human body, but 300 in children (some of the bones fuse together as a child grows).
*Fleas can jump 130 times higher than their own height.
*In human terms this is equal to a 6 foot person jumping 780 feet into the air.
*Snakes are true carnivores as they eat nothing but other animals. They do not eat any type of plant material.
*There are no venomous snakes in Maine.
*The blue whale can produce sounds up to 188 decibels. This is the loudest sound produced by a living animal and has been detected as far away as 530 miles.
*The human eye blinks an average of 4,200,000 times a year.
*It takes approximately 12 hours for food to entirely digest.
*Erosion at the base of Niagara Falls (USA) undermines the shale cliffs and as a result, the falls have receded approximately 7 miles over the last 10,000 years.
*The longest living cells in the body are brain cells which can live an entire lifetime.
*The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.
* North Dakota has never had an earthquake.
*Alexander Graham Bell (who invented the telephone) also set a world water-speed record of over seventy miles an hour at the age of 72.
*There is enough fuel in a full tank of a jumbo jet to drive an average car four times around the world.
* Hawaii is moving toward Japan 4 inches every year.
*Chimps are the only animals that can recognize themselves in a mirror.
*The leg bones of a bat are so thin that no bat can walk.
*There are more living organisms on the skin of a single human being than there are human beings on the surface of the earth.
*Marilyn Monroe had six toes on one foot.
*If you keep a goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white.
*Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
*In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
*Almonds are members of the peach family.
*Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
*Americans on the average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
*One person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
*If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
*February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
*More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.
*Lorne Greene had one of his nipples bitten off by an alligator while he was host of "Lorne Greene's Animal Kingdom".
*The dot that appears over the letter "i" is called a tittle.
*All major league baseball umpires must wear black underwear while on the job (in case their pants split).
*The Spanish word esposa means "wife." The plural, esposas, means "wives," but also "handcuffs."
*If all Americans used one third less ice in their drinks the United States would become a net exporter instead of an importer of energy.
*If the Nile River were stretched across the United States, it would run nearly from New York to Los Angeles.
*San Francisco cable cars are the only National Monuments that move. The Hoover Dam was built to last 2,000 years.
*Its concrete will not be fully cured for another 500 years.
*Abraham Lincoln's dog, Fido, was assassinated too.
*All of David Letterman's suits are custom made - there are no creases in his suit trousers.
*Cranberry Jell-O is the only flavor that contains real fruit flavoring.
*Fewer than half of the 16,200 major league baseball players have ever hit a home run.
*In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
*Richard Versalle, a tenor performing at New York's Metropolitan Opera House, suffered a heart attack and fell 10 feet from a ladder to the stage just after singing the line "You can only live so long."
* If the entire population of earth was reduced to exactly 100 people, 51% would be female, 49% male; 50% of the world's currency would be held by 6 people, one person would be nearly dead, one nearly born.
* In 1920, Babe Ruth out-homered every American League team.
*Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England, but only in tropical fish stores.
*Toxic house plants poison more children than household chemicals.
*The original name of Bank of America was Bank of Italy.
*The ant, when intoxicated, will always fall over to its right side.
*The California Department of Motor Vehicles has issued six driver's licenses to six different people named Jesus Christ.
*Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike each year than all the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
*People in China and Japan die disproportionately on the 4th of each month because the words death and four sound alike, and they are represented by the same symbol.
*Chicago is closer to Moscow than it is to Rio de Janeiro.
* Dogs have two sets of teeth, just like humans. They first have 30 "puppy" teeth, then 42 adult teeth.
*In 1950, President Harry Truman threw out the first ball twice at the opening day Washington DC baseball game; once right handed and once left handed.
*A Swiss ski resort announced it would combat global warming by wrapping its mountain glaciers in aluminum foil to keep them from melting.
*The chameleon has a tongue that is one and a half times the length of his body.
*Beethoven dipped his head in cold water before he composed.
*There once was a town named "6" in West Virginia.
*Ten years ago, only 500 people in China could ski. This year, an estimated 5,000,000 Chinese will visit ski resorts.
*In 1920, Babe Ruth broke the single season home run record, with 29. The same year, he became the first major leaguer to hit 30 home runs. The same year, he became the first major leaguer to hit 40 home runs. The same year, he became the first major leaguer to hit 50 home runs.
*A Nigerian woman was caught entering the UK with 104 kg of snails in her baggage.
*Profanity is typically cut from in-flight movies to make them suitable for general audiences.
*Fox Searchlight Pictures has substituted "Ashcroft" for "A**hole" in the movie Sideways when dubbed for Aerolineas Argentinas flights.
*Author Hunter S. Thompson, who committed suicide recently, wanted to be cremated and his ashes to be shot out of a cannon on his ranch.
*Sports Illustrated magazine allows subscribers to opt out of receiving the famous swimsuit issue each year.
*Fewer than 1% choose this option. There is a company that will (for $14,000) take your ashes, compress them into a synthetic diamond to be set in jewelry for a loved one.
* The RIAA sued an 83 year old woman for downloading music illegally, even though a copy of her death certificate was sent to the RIAA a week before it filed the suit.
*Two 1903 paintings recently sold at auction for $590,000 - the paintings were in the famous "Dogs Playing Poker" series.
*Russian scientists have developed a new drug that prolongs drunkenness and enhances intoxication.
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The No Monster, The Please Police, and The big Tuckle
Once upon a time, there was a little boy who always said, "No!" His mother asked him to go brush his teeth and he said, "No!" His father asked him to clean up his room and he said, "No!"
His sister-"
"That's me!" said Elizabeth.
"Yes," said the Father, "that's you. Now back to the story. "
His sister asked him to help her play Barbies and he said, "No!" The little boy even said "No!" to questions that weren't yes or no questions.
His friends at school asked him what he had in his lunch bag and he said, "No!" The teacher asked him what time it was and he said, "No!"
This little boy was the No Monster. No matter what you said or asked, he would respond, "NO!"
He lived in No Man's Land. With Nobody. He knew Nothing. But he Nos Everything.
"Get it?" asked the Father.
Elizabeth nodded. "N-O, as in says 'No!' to everything and K-N-O-W as in 'understands' everything. Know and No are homonyms."
"Hornmy-nims," repeated Joey, wanting to get back to the story.
'"Right," said the Father. "Very good."
Millions of miles away, up in the tallest tree in the biggest forest lives the queen of the fairies. It is her job to rid the world of No Monsters. But she was busy that day, so she told the youngest, newest fairy to go to the little boy's house and make him stop saying "No!" to everything.
"But I don't know how!" said the smallest fairy.
The fairy queen said gently, "You're a smart little fairy. You will figure it out soon enough. Now go."
So the smallest fairy flew all the way to the No Monster's house and did her best to try to get the No Monster to say "yes."
"I am a fairy," said the fairy.
"No! " said the No Monster.
"I'll play a game with you, if you like," said the fairy sweetly.
"No! " said the No Monster.
"I'll sing a song for you or do a dance for you," said the smallest fairy.
"No!" said the No Monster,
The fairy couldn't think of any way to get the No Monster to stop saying "No!" She almost gave up, but then she had an idea.
When the little boy was eating dinner, she started making a fairy cake. And if you have never eaten a slice of fairy cake, then you have never had the sweetest, fairiest dessert in the world. It's pure white on top and chocolate inside. Unless you don't like chocolate, then it isn't. In fact, every bite tastes different and is always exactly what you want to taste next. But most importantly, the fairy cake looks as good as it tastes.
All through dinner, the little boy watched the fairy make the fairy cake. He watched her drop candy sparkles all over the top, wrap candy ribbons all around the edges, and sprinkle fairy sugar over everything. His mouth watered when he thought how wonderful the amazing fairy cake might taste.
Then, when the little boy was done with dinner and had put his plate into the dishwasher, the fairy asked him, "Would you like a piece of my fairy cake?"
For a moment the boy said nothing and it looked like the No Monster would win, but then the boy smiled as sweetly as he had ever smiled before in his life and said in a very small voice, "Yes, please."
And that was the end of the No Monster.
The two children clapped.
"Did you like the story?" asked the Father.
"Yes, " said Elizabeth quickly.
Joey wrinkled his nose, smiled a devilish smile, and yelled loudly, 'No!"
They all laughed.
"Now tell us a story about a little girl," said Elizabeth.
"How do you ask for something?" chided the Father.
"Please!" said both the children quickly.
"Yes," said the Father. "And that is what this story is about. It's called The Please Police."
"Ha, ha!" chuckled Elizabeth and then looked at her brother. "Get it?" she asked. She explained slowly, "The pah-leeeaze pah-leeeece."
Joey nodded, wanting the story to start.
The Please Police
It was a Saturday morning. The little girl woke up early to watch cartoons. After a little while, her Mother came into the television room and asked her if she wanted pancakes for breakfast. The little girl simply nodded.
Soon, her Mother came back in the room and put down a steaming plate of pancakes, a bottle of syrup, a fork and a napkin.
"Drink," said the little girl.
"In a second," said her Mother, as she left the room. Maybe the Mother was sleepy that Saturday morning. Maybe the little girl was caught up in the cartoon. But either way, the little girl had done something wrong and her Mother did not correct her.
"She didn't say 'Please'," explained Joey.
"Uh oh!" said Elizabeth. "Now I know what's going to happen next!"
As soon as the Mother set down the glass of orange juice, the siren started. It was very soft at first. Weee-yeee-yeeee.
The little girl watched her cartoon carefully to see if the siren was coming from the television. It wasn't. The siren got a little louder. Weee-Yeeee-Yeee.
The little girl listened as the siren got closer and closer, louder and louder. Weeee-yeeee! WEE-eeee- YEE-eeee!
The little girl looked out the window to watch the police car or fire truck or ambulance go by. But even though the siren got closer and closer - WEeEe-YEeEe! WEeEe-FEeEe! - she didn't see anything coming up the street.
It sounded as though the siren were right on top of her and yet she still saw nothing in the street. WEEEE-YEEEEE! WEEEE-YEEEE!
She heard a squeal of tires and when she turned around she saw a tiny blue and white car, about the size of a small toy box, pull up right behind her.
A man, dressed in what looked like a police outfit, stepped out of the car. He was the size of a Barbie or a GI Joe.
"Please put your hands where I can see them!" he said in a squeaky voice.
The little girl looked at her hands, then, confused, showed her hands to the little man. Finally, she asked, "Who are you?"
"I'm a Please Officer. Part of the Please Patrol. Whenever a child forgets to say 'please,' it's our job to see that they are punished."
"Punished?" asked the little girl.
"I'm afraid so," said the Please Officer. "Please drop and give me ten."
"Ten push-ups?" asked the girl.
"No. Ten pleases. "
The little girl shrugged, sat on the carpet and, counting each one out on here fingers, said, "Please, please, please, please, please. Please, please, please, please, please."
"Now," said the Please Officer, "please tell me what you say when you want something?"
"Please," said the little girl.
"That's precisely right," said the Please Officer.
"But why?" asked the little girl.
"Why what?" asked the Please Officer.
"Why do I have to say 'Please' for something like orange juice. I don't even really like orange juice."
The Please Officer didn't even blink before answering. "It's not for you. It's for the person who gets you something. Because it was nice of your Mother to get you the orange juice. And if you want her to get you more things in the future, you should be as polite as possible."
The little girl hung her head. "I'm sorry," she said softly.
"Don't tell me," said the Please Officer. "I'm just doing my job." With that, the Please Officer jumped back into the tiny Please Car and sped away.
The little girl finished her pancakes and orange juice and took her plate and glass into the kitchen where her Mother was reading the paper.
"Mom," said the little girl.
"Yes dear?"
"Thanks for the pancakes and the orange juice. Can I pleeeeeeeaaaaasssse have some more?"
And to this day, the Please Police have never had to visit that little girl's house again.
"Yay!" yelled the two children together.
"Can we have another story?" asked Joey. And then he quickly added, "Please?"
"Sure," said the Father.
"About a little girl and a little boy this time, please?" asked Elizabeth.
"Sure," said their Father again. "This one is called the Big Tickle."
The Big Tickle
Once upon the time there was a little boy and a little girl. They were sitting on the couch listening to their Father read bedtime stories, when-"
"Oh, Nooo!" screamed Elizabeth as she jumped up off the couch. "I know how this story ends!" Elizabeth ran to her bed, jumped in and hid under the covers.
The Father looked over to Joey, who suddenly understood why his sister ran away and he, too, jumped off the couch, and ran out of the room yelling, "No tickling! No tickling!" Joey got in to his bed and hid under his covers.
The Father smiled to himself, yawned softly, stretched, and slowly got up off the couch. Then he kissed both of his children good night and wished them, "Sweet dreams."
*********** THE END ************
©1998 Stuart B Baum and Molly Baum, Illustrations by Molly Baum
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Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Top books for boys
The full list of the top books for boys. Are your recommendations included? Add your suggestions in the comment box below.
1. The Top 10 of Everything 2007 by Russell Ash, Hamlyn (2008 edition available in the autumn)
2. Strange Powers of the Human Mind (Forbidden Truths) by Herbie Brennan, Faber
3. A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson, Black Swan,
4. I Know You Got Soul by Jeremy Clarkson, Penguin
5. Guinness Book of Records 2007, Guinness (2008 edition available in the autumn)
6. 101 Things You Need To Know (And Some You Don’t) by Richard Horne, Bloomsbury
7. 101 Things To Do Before You’re Old and Boring by Richard Horne, Bloomsbury
8. Ripley’s Believe It or Not! by Robert LeRoy Ripley, Century
9. The Boys’ Book; How to be the Best at Everything by Guy McDonald, Buster Books
10. Chew on This: Everything You Don't Want to Know About Fast Food by Eric Schlosser,
Puffin
11. How to Spot a Hadrosaur in a Bus Queue by Andy Seed, Hodder
12. How to Avoid a Wombat’s Bum by Mitchell Symons, Doubleday
13. Why Don’t Penguins’ Feet Freeze? by Mick O'Hare, Profile Books
14. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams, Macmillan
15. Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe, Puffin
16. King Solomon’s Mines by H Rider Haggard, Penguin
17. Northern Lights (His Dark Materials) by Philip Pullman, Scholastic
18. Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, Bloomsbury
19. Kidnapped (adapted by) Alan Grant, Barrington Stoke
20. Treasure Island by R L Stevenson, Bloomsbury
21. The Hobbit by J RR Tolkien, HarperCollins
22. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain, Penguin
23. The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain, Penguin
24. Like Father Like Son by Tony Bradman (ed), Kingfisher
25. Unreal! by Paul Jennings, Puffin
26. Flight by Kazu Kibuishi, Image Comics
27. One Beastly Beast by Garth Nix, HarperCollins
28. The Stinky Cheese Man by Jon Scieszka and Lane Smith, Puffin
29. It Was A Dark and Silly Night by Art Spiegelman, HarperCollins
30. Scientific Progress Goes Boink (Calvin and Hobbes) by Bill Watterson, Time Warner
31. Talking Turkeys by Bejamin Zephaniah, Puffin
32. Arthur and the Invisibles by Luc Besson, Faber
33. The Spellgrinder’s Apprentice by N M Browne, Bloomsbury
34. The Forgotten Spell (Spellcaster Gamebooks) by Louisa Dent, Wizard Books
35. Castle of Wizardry (The Belgariad) by David Eddings, Corgi
36. Dragon Rider by Cornelia Funke, Chicken House
37. Mirrormask by Neil Gaiman and Dave McKean, Bloomsbury
38. Samurai (Saint of Dragons) by Jason Hightman, HarperCollins
39. Blade of Fire (The Icemark Chronicles) by Stuart Hill, Chicken House
40. Eldest by Christopher Paolini, Corgi
41. Clash of the Sky Galleons (The Edge Chronicles) by Paul Stewart and Chris Riddell,
Doubleday
42. Bloodsong by Melvin Burgess, Puffin
43. The Supernaturalist by Eoin Colfer, Puffi
44. Small-Minded Giants by Oisin McGann, Corgi
45. Takedown by Graham Marks, Catnip
46. Jango (Noble Warriors) by William Nicholson, Egmont
47. Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports (Maximum Ride) by James Patterson, Headline
48. A Darkling Plain (Mortal Engines Quartet) by Philip Reeve, Scholastic
49. Storm Thief by Chris Wooding, Scholastic
50. Darkside by Tom Becker, Scholastic
51. The Spook’s Secret (Wardstone Chronicles) by Joseph Delaney, Bodley Head
52. The Black Tattoo by Sam Enthoven, Doubleday
53. Coraline by Neil Gaiman, Bloomsbury
54. Setting of a Cruel Sun (The Lost Souls Stories) by Alan Gibbons, Orion
55. Nightrise (Power of Five) by Anthony Horowitz, Walker
56. Skulduggery Pleasant by Derek Landy, HarperCollins
57. Breathe by Cliff McNish, Orion
58. Devil for Sale by E E Richardson, Barrington Stoke
59. The Intruders by E E Richardson, Corgi
60. Blood Beast (Demonata) by Darren Shan, HarperCollins
61. Crazy Creatures (Reality Check) by Gillian Arbuthnott, Barrington Stoke
62. The Fighting Pit (Bear Kingdom) by Michael Coleman, Orchard
63. Flanimals of the Deep by Ricky Gervais
64. High Rhulain (Redwall) by Brian Jacques, Puffin
65. The Dark Portal (Deptford Mice) by Robin Jarvis, Hodder
66. Mouse Noses on Toast by Darren King, Faber
67. Soul Eater (Chronicles of Ancient Darkness) by Michelle Paver, Orion
68. Fall 1152 (Mouse Guard) by David Petersen, Archaia (Publication due in June)
69. Nathan Fox by L Brittney, Macmillan
70. Mines of the Minotaur (Companion’s Quartet) by Julia Golding, Oxford
71. The Ship Between the Worlds by Julia Golding, Oxford
72. The Black Book of Secrets by F E Higgins, Macmillan
73. Here There be Dragons (Chronicles of the Imaginarium Geographica) by James A Owen,
Simon & Schuster
74. Here Lies Arthur by Philip Reeve, Scholastic
75. Larklight by Philip Reeve, Bloomsbury
76. Percy Jackson and the Sea of Monsters by Rick Riordan, Puffin
77. Physik (Septimus Heap) by Angie Sage, Bloomsbury
78. My Swordhand is Singing by Marcus Sedgwick, Orion
79. Endymion Spring by Matthew Skelton, Puffin
80. Ptolemy’s Gate (Bartimaeus Trilogy) by Jonathan Stroud, Corgi
81. Bloodline by Kevin Brooks, Barrington Stoke
82. Johnny Delgado Like Father Like Son by Kevin Brooks, Barrington Stoke
83. Artemis Fowl and the Lost Colony by Eoin Colfer, Puffin
84. Half Moon Investigations by Eoin Colfer, Puffin
85. Framed by Frank Cottrell Boyce, Macmillan
86. Grk and the Hot Dog Trail by Joshua Doder, Andersen Press
87. Final Lap (Traces) by Malcolm Rose, Kingfisher
88. The Crime Lord (F.E.A.R. Adventures) by Jak Shadow, Wizard Books
89. Tins by Alex Shearer, Macmillan
90. Great Britain (Jack Stalwart) by Elizabeth Singer Hunt, Red Fox
91. The Curse of the Nightwolf (Barnaby Grimes) by Paul Stewart and Chris Riddell, Doubleday
92. Montmorency’s Revenge by Eleanor Updale, Scholastic
93. The Obsidian Dagger (Horatio Lyle) by Catherine Webb, Atom
92. The Boy who was Wanted Dead or Alive – or both (Blart) by Dominic Barker, Bloomsbury
93. Sebastian Darke: Prince of Fools by Philip Cavney, Bodley Head
94. The Moomy’s Curse (Cows in Action) by Steve Cole, Red Fox
95. Toonhead by Fiona Dunbar, Orchard
96. The Day I Swapped My Dad for Two Goldfish by Neil Gaiman and Dave McKean, Bloomsbury
97. So You Think You Know the Simpsons? by Clive Gifford, Hodder
98. It’s True You Can Make Your Own Jokes by Sharon Holt, Allen & Unwin
99. Ryan’s Brain (Jiggy McCue) by Michael Lawrence, Orchard
100. Measle and the Slitherghoul (Measle Stubbs Adventures) by Ian Ogilvy, OUP
101. Captain Underpants and the Preposterous Plight of the Purple Potty People by Dav Pilkey,
Scholastic
102. Urgum the Axe Man by Kjartan Poskitt, Scholastic
103. A Hat Full of Sky by Terry Pratchett, Doubleday
104. Zip’s Apollo by Philip Ridley, Puffin
105. The Great Cow Race (Bone) by Jeff Smith, Cartoon Books
106. Boy and Going Solo by Roald Dahl, Puffin
107. Once by Morris Gleitzman, Puffin
108. Crusade by Elizabeth Laird, Macmillan (Publication due in June)
109. Secrets of the Fearless by Elizabeth Laird, Macmillan
110. The Highwayman’s Footsteps by Nicola Morgan, Walker
111. Billy the Kid by Michael Morpurgo, Collins
112. Private Peaceful by Michael Morpurgo, HarperCollins
113. Rebel Cargo by James Riordan, Frances Lincoln
114. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak, Bodley Head
115. Divided City by Theresa Breslin, Corgi
116. Game Boy (4u2read.ok) by Alan Durant, Barrington Stoke
117. Stat Man (FYI) by Alan Durant, Barrington Stoke
118. Lady Friday (Keys to the Kingdom) by Garth Nix, HarperCollins
119. The Penalty by Mal Peet, Walker
120. Dream On by Bali Rai, Barrington Stoke
121. Goal 2: Living the Dream by Robert Rigby, Corgi
122. Agent Orange (Spy High) by A J Butcher, Atom
123. Sakkara (New Heroes) by Michael Carroll, HarperCollins
124. Jimmy Coates: Revenge by Joe Craig, HarperCollins
125. True Spy Stories (Usborne True Stories) by Paul Dowswell and Fergus Fleming, Spies
(Publication due in June)
126. The Flight of the Silver Turtle by John Fardell, Faber
127. The Devil’s Breath by David Gilman, Puffin (Publication due in June)
128. Double or Die (Young Bond) by Charlie Higson, Puffin
129. Ark Angel (Alex Rider) by Anthony Horowitz, Walker
130. Meltdown (Special Agents) by Sam Hutton, HarperCollins
131. Deep Waters (Zac Power) by H I Larry, Egmont
132. The Fall (Cherub) by Robert Muchamore, Hodder
133. Deadline by John Townsend, Barrington Stoke
134. S.T.O.R.M. by E L Young, Macmillan
135. The Hand of the Devil by Dean Vincent Carter, Corgi
136. The Aztec Code by Steve Cole, Bloomsbury
137. Bunker 10 by J A Henderson, OUP
138. Sure Fire by Jack Higgins and Justin Richards, HarperCollins (Publication due in May)
139. Bloodbones (Fighting Fantasy) by Steve Jackson and Ian Livingstone, Wizard Books
140. Troll Blood (Troll trilogy) by Katherine Langrish, HarperCollins
141. The Beast Within (Nemesis) by Catherine Macphail, Bloomsbury
142. Avenger (Boy Soldier) by Andy McNab, Corgi
143. Operation Typhoon Shore (Guild Trilogy) by Joshua Mowll, Walker
144. Boffin Boy and the Invaders from Space (Boffin Boy) by David Orme, Ransom
145. Time Runners: Freeze Framed (Time Runners) by Justin Richards, Simon & Schuster
146. Flash Flood (Code Red Adventures) by Chris Ryan, Red Fox
147. Book the Thirteenth: The End by Lemony Snicket, Egmont
148. The Web of Fire by Steve Voake, Faber
149. Smokescreen by Bernard Ashley, Usborne
150. Mutant (Gr8reads) by Theresa Breslin, Barrington Stoke
151. Being by Kevin Brooks, Puffin
152. Billy Elliot by Melvin Burgess, Chicken House
153. The Bone Room by Anne Cassidy, Barrington Stoke
154. Moon Man by David Donohue, Egmont
155. The Road of Bones by Anne Fine, Corgi
156. The Thing with Finn by Tom Kelly, Macmillan
157. Flush by Carl Hiaasen, Corgi
158. Under the Skin by Catherine Macphail, Barrington Stoke
159. Captives by Tom Pow, Corgi
160. BurnOut by Robert Swindells, Barrington Stoke
161. Case Closed by Gosho Aoyama, Gollancz
162. Help I’m a Classroom Gambler by Pete Johnson, Corgi
163. The Paradise Plot by Natasha Narayan, Egmont
164. The Inventors by Alexander Gordon Smith, Faber
165. Tide of Terror (Vampirates) by Justin Somper, Simon & Schuster
166. Running the Risk (Shapeshifter) by Ali Sparkes, OUP
167. H.I.V.E. (Higher Institute of Villainous Education) by Mark Walden, Bloomsbury
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